A Troll Has been Spotted! (Finally, Something to Write About)

So much for a faggot who has no life sitting at home and writes bullshit about clubs and calls them drinks “pussy” albeit he has never had even a fucking breezer. I hate pseudo bloggers who like to call themselves by “cool and intelligent” sounding names like Roucateur… ass wipes

A comment I received on my previous post. First of all thank you very much ‘Death’ for the time off your obviously busy schedule clubbing and angrily reading other people’s blogs to come to my humble abode. I assumed that the long length of my posts would be enough to deter idiots with short attention spans, looking for a quick opportunity to lengthen their e-penis with an inflammatory comment or two about the blogger himself, while conveniently hiding behind the wall of anonymity the internet provides.

Secondly, dear 220.255.7.133 (Singapore, Singtel), unless you me personally, and I doubt you do, your characterizations of me as a “faggot with no life”, and assuming I have never had a “fucking breezer” is absolutely mistaken and wrong. I don’t know whether your definition of “having a life” would include furiously commenting on other people’s blogs, but hey, who am I to question glorious, exciting life?

Thirdly, as I have mentioned before, that this blog is partly fictitious, not representative of my own personal opinions. I’m sorry I got your panties all in a twist by satirizing your favorite means of entertainment. I’m not sure if I’ve specified, but I’m using this place as platform to improve my writing. I will readily accept criticisms of my blog, if they are criticisms, not meaningless flaming. This honestly would have been a waste of your time if I hadn’t accepted your comment. If I had deleted it, think of all the time you spent composing a comprehensible sentence, wasted, time that could have been spent calling other people faggots in a real club. Imagine that! If you want to criticize my technique, or my poor attempts at humor in my previous post, and then tell me what it takes to make it funnier or more original, I would have been more than happy to take your advice. You’re doing nobody a favor by flaming on a blog, that’s hardly read by anybody at all, and then not even providing an email address so I could identify you, and perhaps make you understand what I’m trying to do here. This isn’t the work of a syndicated columnist you’re seeing, its of a bored 17 year old trying to improve his craft.

Fourth, you’ve misunderstood the “pussy” part. The strikethrough was to satirically suggest that people were there to get laid (hence get some pussy drinks), so your reading comprehension fails. I had realized that the strikethrough had not appeared properly on the blog, even though it was there on Word, and I had to manually add the strikethrough later on, before you commented on my blog, so if you had seen it without the strike, the error is on my part since the context would’ve appeared as how you’ve understood it to be, but since you commented on that on after I had edited it, I can only assume that you don’t have the comprehension skills necessary to understand what I meant.

Fifth, “pseudo bloggers” and “sounding cool and intelligent”. “Pseudo bloggers” as opposed to what? What exactly is a pseudo blogger? If a real blogger is someone who uses the internet as a platform to record his ideas, thoughts or as an online journal, a pseudo blogger would be, someone who pretends to use the internet to publish his ideas, when in fact, he writes on a regular journal book so his friends won’t think he isn’t cool. Congratulations, now you’ve managed to make yourself sound more stupid than your first sentence possibly could.

Thank you for that solitary compliment in your short treatise of hate and spite. “Cool and intelligent” is not exactly what I intended when I thought up of Roucateur, it was something I scribbled on a piece of paper when my English teacher explained the meaning of a raconteur. If you think it sounds cool, and intelligent, thank you very much, though I am rather disappointed to note your apparent hate of things cool and intelligent. For a person of your brain capacity, it isn’t very surprising for there to be a natural dislike of intelligent and cool things.

Sixth, I must comment on your masterful flourish at the end of your critical dissertation of my faggoty-ness; “ass wipes”. I envy your level of mastery over the English language and wish I, too, could one day be as fluent in the art of concluding a well thought out argument as you evidently have.

Finally, on a more serious note. I have to thank what few readers I have, and that includes you Mister Death. If anything, I’m a bit disappointed that I couldn’t resist the urge, and fed the troll, but ah well, exams are over. Also, thank you, Mister Death, for giving me some material to write about. I must admit, my last piece wasn’t very good. Reading it now, from a critical standpoint, it stands as a localized piece on nightclubs, but falls as messy, unoriginal and not very funny.

To confirm, I have nothing against sheesha smokers, or clubbers, I view it on the same level as Comic Exhibitions, PC Shows, Sports Events and concerts; forms of entertainment. I do not dislike clubs, or those sheesha locales in Clarke Quay (Marrakesh right?). Now I understand why so many op-eds and works of satire have disclaimers on the front. Maybe, I need to write my own disclaimer as well to repel people like Death over here.

To conclude, I look forward to correspondence between Mister Death and I, and if you’re reading this 220.255.7.133 (Singapore, Singtel), you’re welcome to comment again. At least I get the page hits. And to all those readers who do go to clubs, well you’re probably on the same dance floor frequented by creatures like our commenter over here.

Thank you for reading,
Kisses and hugs to Mister Death as well (aka 220.255.7.133 (Singapore, Singtel)),

The “cool and intelligent sounding”,

Roucateur